22nd June 2016, 0355
When that alarm chimes my first instinct is to snooze it. Then snooze again. And again. Then unlock my phone and lay in bed curled up questioning my need to get out of bed. In the moment between leaving my bed and turning off my alarm I try my hardest to stay awake. I then go in the bath and fight the temptation to soak and relax for as long as I can as opposed to getting straight to the point with an in and out in a matter of minutes. See it from my perspective, there’s probably 10-20 litres of hot relaxing water which aides my meditation and you really would like me to be ‘in and out’?
If I fall asleep I probably won’t wake up until my commitment for the day begins and being the guy I am I can’t lie and refuse to because lying just opens up a rabbit hole of possibilities; the back story, the details, remembering all of that information, trying not to be inconsistent, trying your hardest to consciously recall every detail. Bearing in mind that you made it up in the first place just to not feel silly. Yes there’s the traffic excuse but if there’s going to be traffic, leave extra early. Yes there’s the I thought my shift was at such and such, but that’s highly unlikely nowadays since you’re dripping in technology that reminds how much of a slave to time, communication and connectivity you are.
Keeping it real in comparison to lying is so much more straight forward and that’s why I don’t bother. I’m a simple man who detests unnecessary complications so I always tell the truth. I would say that at this point in conversation I tip my brim and raise a glass to the infidels who can live double or triple lives and juggle back stories for years on end as its a skill unto itself.
How do you manage to partition your brain to manage your relationships, how do you compartmentalise all of the details of each interaction?
It must take a lot of energy to uphold that and I’m surprised you don’t see a councillor to assist you in breaking it all down. With that command of deception I feel as though your skills would be better suited in the secret services or even as a writer. Not commenting on no person in particular but if the characters on the tv, film or general media are anything thing to go by -being the product of fantasy and predetermined storylines, it erm… Tangent?
Alas I digress…
I really hope that I’m not speaking into existence that I shall miss my alarm in the morning, arrive at my commitment later than expected with no worthy excuse apart from falling asleep quite early in the evening, researching theories and arguments in regards to the elite’s agenda to control and enslave the masses, false flags, and how much I need to save in order to go off the grid and live a life of freedom in the wilderness.
Let’s be honest, how would I translate the elaborate above into a restricted dotted line of the late form or will it really matter because as far as any employer is concerned you’re there to play your role within the system of operation. It’s a game of the red vs blue pill, how do you gain freedom -taking the necessary steps to do so, when much of your time is occupied with commitments?
I’m at an age where I would like to experience new lands, cultures and retrain in something transferable. I want to wake up and feel like my contribution to existence is significant. Yes writing and sharing positive energy assist others but will it propel me into outer space to explore, am I doing enough?
Maybe I need to drop out the ‘I’ and focus on my contribution being part of some collective energy. Maybe rather than focus on becoming, focus on the I Am. Rather than focus on what I need to do and just do it. Execute it, release it into the universe for all to access and spread the word.
Is me writing this post risky, some may think it’s cheeky but I’m certainly exercising my writing skills to translate a train of thought to the page because these words aren’t just my words or something you read on a screen, these are my future, present, and a great way of dealing with the past. After all this is my blog and fair enough I may have grown out of reviews, music and entertainment news in favour of posts like this but since I couldn’t sleep I thought I’d free the restlessness.
Peace