Aloof to most trivial non-sense
I guess I blame wanting inner peace rather than be up a few cents.

A lot of the time I feel like I’m above all the non-sense
But find myself getting triggered for the sake of making sense.

I wish I could go in and not care about the non-sense
But they’ve brought my silence by offering a few more cents.

Why don’t you quit, won’t that make more sense?
I’ve got bills to pay so I shall continue to trade balance at my peace expense.

I can’t put a lid on feelings that I should know better
Than be silenced so I can keep my head above water in order to cash pay cheques.

Excerpt From: Khalid Omari. “Cogitation pt.2”.

Monday, 27th May 2020, 1826

I’m done with black people getting murdered on camera

I’m done with the voyeurism that goes with it

I’m done with the tribute memes.
I’m done with the complacency surrounding the mistreatment of black people and lack of acknowledgement for our never-ending struggle.
I’m done with explaining why I’m done with it and making you feel more comfortable by not speaking about it.

I’m done with always having a few effs for your feelings
I’m done with you misunderstanding my passion for frustration and aggression when discussing things

I’m done with you never actively researching the significance of it.
I’m done with diluting the message.
I’m done with code switching
I’m done with assimilating

I’m done with not speaking in vernacular because you deem it unprofessional.
I’m done with translating
I’m done with validating

I’m done because I can’t keep having the same conversations about why this happens again and again
I’m done because I’m exhausted

I’m done because I’m at the end of my tether

I’m done because I have zero eff coins to place into the machine and continue to play this perpetual game of injustice and outrage.
I am done.

No amount of protests will create change quick enough for us to bask in the light of our liberation

No amount of memes, screenshots, infographics and tweets could ever replace much needed dialogue to understand how the actions of an invisible enemy continue to keep us under the standard of life and basic privilege enjoyed by our counterparts.
No amount of apologies or public displays of acknowledgement to the current injustice will satisfy my thirst for liberation and equality.

Where was your interest when we were getting stopped and searched at record rates?

Where was your concern when we were being told to go back to our own country?
Where were your concerns during the Brexit rhetoric or the Windrush Scandal where they tried to deport those of us who re-built your not so Great Britain and weakened post World War Two economy?
We accepted a call to action to save the day by sending all our skilled workers to re-energise your manufacturing and transport industry, and also your beloved NHS.

When you’re out there banging your pots and pans

Will you spare a thought for the black Doctors and Nurses who came to help your sick great grandparents who refused their treatment as they didn’t want to get touched by black hands?

When you’re out there banging your pots and pans

Will you be doing so for the black transport, sanitary and hospitality workers who keep this country running
Alongside a whole host of internationals that you so despise but aren’t sure…

Why?
We accepted an invitation to leave the sunshine for the cold, dreary streets.
We gave you our cuisine and culture, in return you denied us our credit.

I’m done with suppressing how I feel

I’m done with baring my soul and hearing your guilt

I’m done with hearing you make this all about you

I’m done with hearing you deflect the issue

I’m done.
I’m done.
I’m done.

I’m done.

Until we rise up and meet injustice with collective and focused action against the oppressor

Until we stop begging for a seat at the table and the respect we deserve

Until we are actively educating our youth in the undiluted and vast history of our ancestors

Until dominant society stop co-opting slogans and signals for corporate gain

Until politicians and public figures stop virtual signalling

Until society refuses to face the hard inconvenient truth and reeducate yourselves on your chequered history of exploitation, genocide and inferiority rhetoric…
I’m done.

Don’t engage me in conversation if all you’re going to do is gawk at my pain for your voyeuristic fetishes.
Don’t invite me to your panel discussions

Don’t invite me to the unveiling of token gestures

All invitations are hereby declined.

I don’t know whether you realise that this isn’t just a moment.

I don’t know whether you realise that this isn’t just some raise your profile opportunity.

I don’t know whether you actually realise that I’d never take you seriously.

You will not and will never understand it fully.
I’m done with white supremacy.

Cogitation Pt.2 available as eBook and Audio

Saturday, 16th May 2020, 0202

Dark faces

invisible in most places

They’re blinded to our plight

Everyday of my life is a fight

No matter how much I want to

I can’t be blind
I’m often in spaces where there are too few dark faces

Being myself unapologetically

Is caricature-ised depending on what stereotypes had arrived before my time
I’m black and I do code switch

I speak vernacular and there’s nothing ghetto about it

There’s also nothing threatening about gesticulated emphasis
I love jerk chicken and my Jamaican heritage

But why do I feel I should tone down or hide it

To assimilate into these spaces?
Why is my passion mistaken for aggression?

Why do these spaces not understand my existence?

Are they intimidated hence the misinterpretation?
All is not normal in my world

My black sense is tingling

Someone said something fishy

Their bants were rather risky

Unaware of the lines crossed… possibly

No excuses

The black experience is littered with such things
We’re educated to shrug it off

Being invisible is expected

Being overlooked and muted in other spaces is something we’ve come to live with

There’s an underlying sense that we should be grateful for being able to access the spaces

That less than a lifetime ago we weren’t allowed in
Centuries of exploitation, subordination and captivity

No wonder there’s no one in the structure of society who represents and fights to protect me.
No one in politics, finance, legal or medically

Puts their lives on the line so I can have a voice in the dominant space of society.
Everyone who stood up against injustice in all of black history

Backdrop being the spaces of western society

Was either killed by the ruling regime

discredited, imprisoned

Or destabilised by people who look just like me

Who were funded by the ruling authority as they were a threat to the power structure of dominant regime.
It’s time for me to stand tall, take accountability and be vocal so we aren’t muted or invisible

In the spaces populated by the dominant factions of society.

Cogitation Pt.2 available as eBook and Audio

I’ve got a healthy obsession for change.

It’s all I can think about.

It’s building my rocket ship to takeoff.

It’s exercising patience to have enough fuel to complete the journey.

It’s mapping a route through asteroid belts and allowing the gravitational pull between the planet and the moon to propel the trip.

Speed isn’t the issue, it’s focus, determination and dedication to see it through to the end.

It’s balancing all the resources to cover the trip and keep us alive once we arrive and sow our seeds to reap the benefits of the first harvest.

It’s a punt into the unknown, it’s a bet on our future, it’s not so much about colonisation but discovery, it’s wondering what life is like outside.

This healthy obsession of mine is what happens when you’ve run out of tolerance for everything around you; the noises, the voices, the personalities, the conflicts, the forever retreating into the confines of your padded cell to shut yourself off from all the distortion, getting caught in a sinking sandpit of toxicity.

It’s my last ditch attempt at sanity and having peace of mind.

I want to leave, I have to leave, I’ve outgrown what life is here.

I’ve outgrown the conflicts, the battles, remaining impartial in such a toxic environment, living in a shack on the no mans land between three fronts.

I’ve endured much.

I may not say it but on the inside I’m deteriorating.

I’ve reached the point where I can no longer retreat inwards, I’ve completely shutdown to the point where I can no longer muster or string together a sentence.

I’m done.

I need to get out of this sunken place as I’m no longer comfortable here.

Home is no longer where my heart is, my heart and mind seek inner peace elsewhere; a quieter and peaceful place, far away from all I’ve ever known.

I guess my healthy obsession is about finding a new place to call home, which I can comfortably call my own.

A place where I can be myself, sow my seeds and reap the rewards of my hard work.

On an expedition of inner peace and self discovery you don’t tend to miss the old you, environment or what once was.

Nostalgia neither comforts or consoles but plays a part in your own demise as you feel comfortable to the point where you can box yourself in behind the illusion of high walls constructed by your hyperreal memories which select which bits they choose to play back to you and the bits that didn’t reach the edit are too hurtful to relive.

They weren’t really your mates, they didn’t have your best interests at heart, they didn’t even consider you when they acted, it was all done for self through counterfeit motives so don’t even feel bad for disappearing, just do you and do what’s best for you.

Pour your energy and resources into your relationship, future life and stay adulting.

All set to go?

Yes.

Destination locked, loaded and focused?

Yes.

Alright let’s do this, time to take off.

Apple Music | Spotify | Tidal

I remember my dad asking me random questions like that and they would baffle the hell outta me. Funny how a question so simple turns into an elaborate answer of ifs, buts, and maybes. It doesn’t even require much thought or even an answer other than yes or no because it’s a close ended question.

Maybe I confuse myself by mistaking happiness for stagnation or living so far ahead in the future rather than the present. I find myself living for the end of things whether it be an appointment, the first half of a shift, the working day, the commute home, the cycle of promotion for an event, the event night itself, phone calls, conversations, awkward small talk… I look forward to the end of everything, in a majority of situations.

I’m at my happiest when I’m nestled away all alone in silence, laying down staring out of the window and breathing. Most of the things that get to us on a day to day or moment to moment are so insignificant it’s unreal. Think of the salary you get to go to work, is it ever or will it ever be enough when you think of all the things you could be doing with your time. The audacity that someone has decided how much an hour of your time is worth and offered you employment as if they’ve did you the favour is a mad ting.

If you didn’t have to work due to the financial commitments and spending habit you’ve developed over the corse of a few years what would you really be doing day to day?

I’d probably be laying on my bed staring up and out of the window in silence, listening to the sounds of outside.
I may even be under a tree, sitting in the shade, admiring the skyline and sights of the city.
I could be in another place with my girl exploring a foreign land and observing a different set of cultural customs.

Time is precious and with every moment you should be maximising your time by doing something you love rather than continue to torment yourself in a deep pool of pretence.

Don’t get it twisted, I love what I do for living and the brand I work for but I always wonder whether I’m living my life’s purpose. I always wonder if I’m really where I want to be, doing what I’m doing.

Does the work, energy and passion equate to the reward or am I continually selling myself short?

Tidal | Spotify | Apple Music

I tried to tell you about it from the jump. I gave you hints that were littered throughout the content, hidden behind the allegory and metaphors but as always you opted to remain on the surface rather than dig a little deeper.

I’m not trying to push you off the ledge into the depths of the Mariana Trench or into The Devils Tunnel in the nether regions of Siberia, I’m just trying to give you a heads up.

This thing that we find ourselves apart of is an illusion.

We aren’t anything but a number, a piece of data, a username, IP address, a portal locked on, soldered and logged into a matrix where we exchange one of the most precious gifts; our time and energy, for a pittance.

We’ve been taught to believe that we should be grateful for what we’re given but if we see our time as the most priceless and precious thing, we’d covet and protect it more than we did our money and possessions.

Time doesn’t stop, it goes as fast or as slow as you want and you have the freedom to invest your time wherever you like.

To confine yourself to one place or a repeated circumstance being stagnant should be a criminal offence.

Stay on the move.

If not the body, the soul and the consciousness.

Physically we may not always be able to go to where we want to go but deep inside the mind we can go and do whatever we wish through imagination.

We think therefore we are, we project therefore we dream, envision and accomplish whatever it is we wish.

Invest your time and energy wisely because the clock don’t stop.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

[The earth has moved 3,885km in the time you’ve read this blog.]

This isn’t some political campaign where candidates are canvassing door to door for votes, it’s just a big duel down at the ok corral where the spectators wonder who draws first.

I choose to abstain from the vote, it’s not my place to meddle in politics, neither is it within my interests to do so. As much as I try to move with diplomacy and remain impartial, I get the feeling that my decision to stay out of the parliamentary chamber makes me a target of many frustrations. This isn’t a choice between communism and capitalism, it’s my personal decision to stay as far away from it all as I possibly can.

The annoying thing is the conversation subject itself, I really don’t wish to engage in it. I’m not a UN Peacekeeper, a negotiator or mediator so stop speculating my position on matters that don’t really concern me, stop trying to get me involved, don’t push me to endorse your point of view publicly, it’s getting beyond the point of being annoying. One conversation subject, the constant projection of frustrations, has got me beyond the point of rolling my eyes so far back that I can see my brain.

I choose not to witness or negotiate treaties, I just want to be and stay happy rather than think about any of it, that’s why I don’t get involved.

Tidal | Spotify | Apple Music | Soundcloud

https://soundcloud.com/whereisko/politics-as-usual

Nothing in life is guaranteed nor given, what you want you work for and when the desired amount of time, energy, and dedication has been poured into a the well, your wishes are granted. It’s not simply throwing coins into an abyss of nothing, it’s more about putting that coin into the well and filling it up so your dream can flow on and manifest into what you had envisioned.

The whole point of a wish is to plan and work hard to make it happen rather than make a wish and forget about it. The more resources you pour into the well is the more you can dip a bucket into it to replenish yourself. You’re creating a source of energy, a source of refreshment, a source of renewal. Until you begin to see it that way you’ll be wishing away forever.

Think about where that well flows. Think about the source of that well; is it from a pure source, does it flow through contaminated lands that need to be cleansed, does the course of which your well follow from source to mouth need a new direction?

Are you fulfilling your duty of care to others on the same journey or are you simply dumping nothing but carcinogens into the energy supply?

Are you the blockage in the system, the cause of stagnant contaminated water, how often do you service the incoming and outgoing energy paths to avoid blockage?

Always ask yourself what contribution you make to collective existence, what type of energy are you putting out; are giving anything at all or is everything just take, take, take?

Once you lose all sense of entitlement you begin to work harder to make stuff happen. Once you put yourself out there and initiate actions you begin to see returns, you begin to align with all you had wished for.

What are you doing today, at this moment in time, that your future self will be thankful for?

Are you willing to make the necessary changes to make things happen at the source of the energy flow, or will you continue to drift along through life hoping that something manifests out of the many empty wishes on the back of copper coins thrown into a dry well?

The choice is yours, always be the change you wish to see, create your opportunities.

Do Something Your Future Self Will Be Thankful For is featured on Cogitation.

Tidal | Spotify | Apple Music

https://soundcloud.com/whereisko/do-something-your-future-self

A meme told me that it’s better to be a warrior in a garden than be a gardener in a war, and right about now I feel like I’ve been in this garden for so long that I’ve lost my skill for swashbuckling words.

No matter how hard I’ve tried these past few hours, I can’t seem to get the wrist to wield the blade with enough flexibility, I actually feel stiff. It seems that no matter how much times I lunge forward, I pull a muscle.

My blade is blunt, uninspired and rather sluggish. I have no immediate urgency to prep for battle, nowadays a blank page is pretty much just a page. Gone are the days where I’d roam the blank screen with empty lines and swashbuckle my way through my anxieties. The misadventures have taken much more of a politically aware and activist narrative, no longer are they steeped in self absorption where I cower behind the mask of allegory, dressed in black from head to toe, assassinating and capturing the head of my anxieties like a contracted ninja of my subconscious shogun.

My sword ain’t blunt fam, this skill is still sharp my brudda. Rather than tip toe through the shadows like a coward, I’m on the frontline, preening my flowers, nurturing my plants and removing weeds from my garden so spontaneous thoughts can sprout into nutritious vegetation and bear fruit.

So sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s better to be a warrior in a garden rather than a gardener on a battlefield because I’m happy, content and on a path to elevate, evolve and inspire. I can’t beat myself up because I’m transitioned from unfiltered reactive into considered active.

I realised that my strength resides not in outdoing anyone lyrically, being self absorbed and dressing my frustrations up in fancy metaphor and similes, I should use my powers for the greater good and become a gardener, cultivate food and flowers for thought.

I’ve just got to make sure that I train more frequently in order to balance my sword skills, and also to spend more time in the garden.

Peace.

Warrior or Gardener is featured on Cogitation

Tidal | Spotify | Apple Music

https://soundcloud.com/whereisko/warrior-or-gardener