Perpetual trains of thought masquerading in allegorical metaphors and similes.

I’ve been creating in Ableton a lot these past few weeks and it’s probably one of the only DAWs where I end up recording something. It’s a vibe. Not sure if haunting tones of the synth pads, the groove pockets in the drums or the retro-futuristic feel of minimalism because nothing is ever more than 4-5 sounds.

That aside, I definitely need to write more frequently or just have a better system of finding what I’ve written when the time comes. I’m getting much better at reciting what I write over the beats now. One-take is a necessity but for this exploration, I wonder whether it’s worth re-recording parts for emphasis.

15/11/2010

This thing called life, what’s it all about?

Is it about money, power and respect?
Is it about love, peace and harmony?
Is it about being good, bad and repentant?
Is life simply what you make of it?

I personally feel its the latter.
Who knows when the clock will stop, will you be satisfied when you suddenly find yourself back where you started without any chance to do all the things you wanted?

Life is what you make of it.

Some may argue that its by the will of the Divine, but is it?
Has everything already been written?
If so does the Divine give you free will to follow what’s programmed deep into your soul?
What’s it all about?

Is it all about being afraid to step out of line?
Is it about being guilty for your honest actions?
Is it about being scared of burning in hell fire?
Why’s there always an emphasis on panic and despair?

What’s your life about?
My life involves seeking answers to my ever inquisitive mind, whilst exploring the vast wilderness of creativity, documenting my existence and writing a diary to give to the Divine just in case they are watching someone else.

This thing called life, what’s it all about?

It could be your own feature film or television drama.
You could be transmitting the world through your eyes into the outer regions of the universe who are so far ahead of our time, they already know what’s happening next week, year, lifetime.
If we cast our eyes back to the question…

Is it written?

You can connect the dot to instinct and intuition which allows the mind to calculate and foresee events, forecasting what is going to happen.
One must be extremely attentive to take action because some signs are much more subtle than others, which you only realise what just happened once its too late.

This thing called life, what’s it all about?

Explore yourself.
Know yourself inside out.
Love yourself.
Be honest.
See the beauty in everything.
Look on the bright side.

Its so easy to dwell upon and remember the darkness but we seldom remember the good times, the times we basked considering seven suns.
Times where nothing outside of us mattered.
Us.
Team Seven.

This thing called life, what’s it all about?

Love.
Peace.
Exploration.
Discovery.

Its only when you put these four cornerstones in place is when you can build a serene temple.

Life is what you make of it so don’t waste it because this may be one chance in seven lifetimes to live amongst and experience life as mortals.

Peace

Thursday 20th October 2011

My beloved duvet, the safest place in the world.

My place of peace, tranquility, contemplation, and creativity.

When times get rough in the midnight hour, I dim the lights, slip into my duvet and head straight to the notepad to write whatever it is that’s currently playing the equivalent of a mahooosive anvil on top of my cranium.

Call after call, alarm after alarm, snooze after snooze, I’m wrapped in my duvet, wrapped in a foetal or staring up at the ceiling, clicking my ankles. I dislike being bothered when under my duvet, I detest seeing random names pop up on my phone to talk all manner of triviality so I politely press the silent button hoping that they won’t call until I’m in a frame of mind where I’m not so pensive to accommodate your nonsensical ramblings.

My duvet is my paradise retreat, keeping me warm through the autumn and winter months when the temperature drops.

I don’t even wish I could stay under my duvet until the end of time because I don’t want to forget why I love my duvet so much.

I don’t want to get tired of the one place I can go to get a slice of peace, the one place I go to close my eyes and take off into the unknown.

Time to get up and get out of my duvet and experience the cold, harsh reality of life outside of my cocoon.

Saturday 19th March 2011

Pretzels look like twisted hearts covered in sweet sticky syrup. Sometimes bitter when covered in salt, sometimes sweet when covered in sugar, dark and sweet when covered in chocolate but twisted nonetheless.

I’ve never been a fan of pretzels, nor twisted hearts, because I’ve only ever tasted the ones covered in salt, I’ve never had the pleasure of indulging in a sweet pretzel.

You do get used to the taste of the salted and dried pretzels but you get to a point where you stop eating. You forget about the pretzel, what it tastes like, the scent, the texture, every single part of the pretzel becomes non existent in your taste memory, you only remember holding it in your hand and seeing it covered in those mahoosive rocks of salt, which require you to drink a gallon of water after each packet to rehydrate because every single pretzel in the packet is covered in gigantic rocks of salt.

Would you prefer another packet of Pretzels, one which hasn’t been open to invasion by the atmosphere, a closed tightly sealed packet, or a different flavour perhaps…

What happens when you’re in the midst of a sweetened pretzel?

Will you test the pretzel flavour placing it on the tip of your tongue, or shove the whole pretzel into your mouth and wait for the surprise?
Will you gamble all you fear on buying that lottery ticket for the chance of having a winning ticket?

How can you differentiate a twisted bitter heart from a pretzel when there’s no comparison, didn’t you say that you forgot what a pretzel looked, tasted, felt and smelt like, surely you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference?

How on earth could you compare a pretzel to a heart, how do you even remember the word pretzel and not have any idea of its associated images?

There are so many inconsistencies in your statements.

Story of my life…

Pretzels – twisted and bittersweet: broken, repaired, recovering, shattered, tarnished, mending, healing, sweet, warm, cold, lustful, loving, nurturing, bright, heavy, light, sour, misused, heartless

Friday 25th March 2011

The sun still shines after the darkest night, even after the darkest of grey clouds obstructs its view, its there in the midst of a storm shining bright, illuminating the path of life.

The sun still shines in the clear blue sky, on the brightest of days, when my mood is contrary to the weather, the sun shines brightly whilst I remain inside.

I don’t want to smile, I want to lay here in this duvet, wrapped in my own melancholy for a while.

I don’t want to climb out of my duvet, to glance out of the window to see the sights, I wish it was night time, I can’t seem to hide from the light.

Away from the sun I prefer to hide, today I feel like I’m hollow inside.

The sky outside of my window is bright, I feel like a stranger to the light, so I squint my eyes.

I can’t stop it from happening, revelations are bright, time to get out of this duvet and open my eyes to the light.

The sun still shines.

Sunday 16th January 2023, 10:47am

Bismillah
What I say when I start my ayah
Showing praise to my creator
I’m grateful, words inspire
All praise is due to Allah
I show gratitude in my ayah
I don’t ask Allah is provider
Protector, teacher and guider
Bismillah ar-raheim ar-Rahman

Islam reflects what’s in nature
Which helps me understand creator
All praise is due to Allah
Bismillah ar-raheim ar-Rahman
The way I open my ayah
I’m grateful for my creator
Seek guidance in holy Quran
It flows so I fill up my cup.

Shortlands to Victoria station (Friday 1st March 2024, 11:12)

At the intersection of want and need
My career feels like stand still,
A process testing my patience and will
No matter how fast I run
I’m standing still…
Career on treadmill.

Interval sprints, start and stopping
Accelerating and slowing
Hanging on to what feels like an empty promise
I made to myself
I’ve just been grafting catching Ls
Setbacks and Lessons
As time goes by and I lose track of myself
I feel like I’ve failed.

Yo fam, What’s good, what’s popping?
When’s the new ting dropping?
I don’t when cah I ain’t been creating
Recording or writing
I’ve been swept away tryna get promoted
Inspiration ain’t been arriving…
As regular as I’ve wanted
Can’t say I ain’t had time,
I just ain’t been focused on creating.
I ain’t been disciplined
I haven’t been intentional with what I’ve done
Too much experimental creating whilst streaming
I went offline to align my feelings
Now I’m on this train
Journaling what’s in my brain
In the aftermath of feeling like
I’ve wasted a thousand days

(Amazing how much life can change in a year)

Monday 17th October 2022, 13:41

Life revolves around cycles.

Nature is one big cycle and being part of it, it would be unnatural to assume I am above the divine process of life’s cycle.

Just as water evaporates, condensates and precipitates, so do we go through a cycle.

Does it depend on what or who you are that determines the type of cycle, it’s length and scale of intensity but I suspect that it’s relative to the part you play in the production of nature itself.

I know this seems abstract but looking out onto the life outside of my own, especially as the autumn leaves begin to start their descent to the soil.

I can’t help but to reflect and appreciate the cycles we go through. It makes me appreciate every little moment because each stage, each season, serves a divine purpose.

The leaves that descend from the branches to the soil get a chance to provide sustenance to it. The same nutrients feed the roots of the tree and make it stronger in time for it to go full cycle and blossom on the branches once again.

Embrace your cycle.

For me I guess I go through cycles of creative outlets. Sometimes it’s the beats, sometimes it’s the words on the beats, sometimes it’s the self reflective podcasts and then I go back to the source which is the poetry.

That’s my cycle at the moment.

I feel this need to write as we approach the season of hibernation. Reflect on the seasons previous, scribe the notebook poetry to my journal app and then get that into a manuscript and possibly record. That’s what it’s about that’s my autumn to winter motive. Compile and schedule so I got a drop per month, keep me on my toes.

It’s finally here after 10yrs of catching dust in my archives. The notebooks can breathe again. No more feelings of what if or I wish I would’ve dropped. I can release the works I’m most proud of and get to crafting some more masterpieces. Happiness is an understatement.

The weirdest thing about all of this is that I felt burnt out and in somewhat of a rut in the lead up to deciding that I was going to drop this collection of works. I somehow found myself in front of Logic on a day off from work and just made a few tweaks. The defining factor was placing a template setting to the master channel and it brought the track alive. At that point I was like I gotta make some artwork and pretty much uploaded it to DistroKid. For the remainder of the week I felt different, I felt more alive, I felt like my life had purpose again. I know it sounds dramatic but when you assume and pursue your virtue, life feels much more fulfilling and pure.

Rhythm & Prose features demos of tracks that I’ve teased across my blogs in the past but never had the courage or vision to release until now. In the coming post I’ll break down each song with some context.

Listen to Rhythm & Prose: 1012BC here